(image via TMZ)

Last week, there was quite the uproar when Sasha Grey, the award-winning porn star, was photographed reading Dr. Seuss to Compton-area first graders. At first, the school announced that no such thing ever happened, but then those pesky photos leaked out and the school was forced to admit that, yes, Ms. Grey did in fact take part in Read Across America.

They are, however, still clinging to the notion that they only knew of her from her role on Entourage. You know, the one where she plays porn star Sasha Grey. This is how I like to imagine the meeting went before she came to read to the school: 

INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

A few men and women, teachers all, sit around a conference table. They are all dressed conservatively; women in dresses or skirts, men in shirt and tie. They’re all between 30-60 years old.

MRS. HIGGINS:  Moving on, next week is Read Across America day and we have actress Sasha Grey coming to read.

Assorted murmings.

MR. DANIELS: I’m sorry, who? I don’t watch a lot of TV.

MRS. HIGGINS: Oh, well, let’s see…it says here that she was on Entourage?

MS. LARSEN: Is that the show where people confront celebrities they hate?

MR. THOMAS: No, I think that’s H8R.

Mr. Ricketts, clearly the youngest member of the group and who has yet to be accepted by his colleagues, clears his voice and speaks up.

MR. RICKETTS: Are you guys serious? You don’t know who Sasha Grey is?

ALL: No, I don’t. What do you mean? Should I know her? Etc.

MR. RICKETTS: You seriously don’t know her? I mean, this isn’t a joke right? She was in that Soderbergh movie a few years ago. It was kind of a big deal.

MRS. HIGGINS: Is he the one who writes those musicals?

MS. LARSEN: Was she in a musical? I love musicals!

MR. RICKETTS: Uhh, no. She wasn’t in a musical. Not in the purest sense. I mean, uhh, she uhh, she uhh, she does a lot of work on the, you know, internet.

MR. DANIELS: Like a YouTube star? I hear those guys can earn a lot of money just by talking about what they ate for lunch.

MRS. HIGGINS: It’s ridiculous is what it is.

MR. RICKETTS: No, uhh, what I’m trying to say is that she does modeling. You know, on the internet. For money.

MS. LARSEN: Is there something wrong with that? If only I could stop eating these Snackwell Devil’s Food cakes, I’d love to model.

Ricketts is sweating through his shirt.

MR. RICKETTS: Oh god. What I’m trying to tell you is that, for money, you know, people pay money, she umm, does things. With men. For money, that is.

MRS. HIGGINS: Mr. Ricketts, we don’t have all day. Would you just spit it out?

MR. RICKETTS: (nervously smiling): You know, I’m sorry. I think I was thinking of someone else. That’s it, it was someone else. Ha ha, isn’t that so weird how our brains work? I’ve never heard of Sasha Grey either. 

Just then, the school janitor walks through to collect the trash.

JANITOR: You guys talking about the girl who puts stuff in her pooper?

THE END.